We sold our house of ten years last December, and moved five humans and all of their things out the week before Christmas. My in-laws graciously made space for us in their home while we are currently awaiting our new house to be finished, and we’ve been bunking in JoJo’s old bedroom in a real full-circle kind of way. January is typically a month of fresh starts for most people, but for us it felt like we were just trying to get our footing underneath our bodies and back on the ground again. For me personally, it has felt like I’ve been in a holding pattern of sorts for months now, able to move forward in some things but generally feeling stuck in most.

I’m having a really hard time slipping into any consistent workout routine these days since our schedule is so scattered, but I’m fighting to keep that block in my calendar because I’ve come to realize how much I desperately need it. In these last few years, I’ve begun to notice how stress balls up and tenses my insides and tangles my heart - but if I can work it out, move it through and out of my body and burn it off, every other area of my life feels those ripple effects. I am less irritable. I want to punch less people in the face. I feel tired, but in an accomplished kind of way, which kinda feels nice. My body has now released endorphins, which triggers happy hormones and generally leads my brain towards more positive thinking. I feel more energized to move on to the next thing, since after all they do say that “what’s in forward motion stays in motion”, right? The simple act of working out seems to promote a shift in my whole person, a good shift.

P O S S I B I L I T Y . In our yoga practice the other night, that was our central theme, and it’s funny how just that single word can stir a sense of thrill, of anticipation. I’m learning about myself that I love to dream, to cast a vision and chase after it with people. I’m also learning to prioritize what I chase, even if it means letting some other possibilities go.

We were leaving the city one afternoon, stuck on the interstate on-ramp and slowly crawling forward. There was a woman holding a sign and asking for help on the side of the road, so I handed my five year old son a baggie of snacks and supplies to pass over to her through his window. She smiled at him, graciously accepted the gift, and simply said, “Blessings to you”. There was a whole cluster of people just beyond her that had set up camp under the bridge overpass seeking shelter for the night. It was already pretty chilly, and the sun hadn’t even gone down yet.

He laid on the wet pavement and wrestled with his tire, and as we talked he peppered our conversation with step by step instructions on what to do if I were changing my own flat tire. He said that teaching skills like this was actually kind of therapeutic for him. Funny thing, I actually learn best from watching someone else demonstrate.