Making friends is hard. Especially when you homeschool. We have been on the hunt for some 10-ish year old friends who could maybe come alongside of us in this wild ride of life and learning together, and while we’ve got some promising buds, we’ve also had a ton of strikeouts. It’s affected our girl the most, and while I know this is tough for her, I’m trusting that when the time is right the Lord will knit together just who she needs for a season such as this. Just like He is doing for me. 

If I could hold your face between my hands and brush miles away that lay between us, I would tell you this much.

Your heart is golden, and desperately ready to be treasured. There are age-old cracks from past partners, which don’t hinder its beauty at all. However, while it is still radiant and dashing, the compromised crevices can’t withhold the heavy hand that foolishly fumbles and even seeks to break it. Take your heart back into your own hands, my girl, before you lose yourself and can’t find it anymore. You have worked too hard to make it to where you stand today. For every wound that took 30 seconds for someone else to inflict upon you, you spent years healing and becoming whole again. Don’t forget how strong you really are. Don’t forget how good it felt to remember yourself again.

The kids wanted to work on a drawing video yesterday, and I said they could… as long as they did it together. My bigger kids have seemingly opposite personalities at times, and nothing puts it on display quite like art class. Ollie is a “roll with it” kind of guy. If something goes awry in his creation, he just kinda shrugs and keeps it moving. Tacie, on the other hand, cannot bear the idea of imperfection, and we will hear lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth before finding her in the middle of a whole ream of crumpled-up printer paper. She doesn’t always give herself time to learn slowly, or time to fumble and experiment, before she demands mastery of herself.

I’m having a really hard time slipping into any consistent workout routine these days since our schedule is so scattered, but I’m fighting to keep that block in my calendar because I’ve come to realize how much I desperately need it. In these last few years, I’ve begun to notice how stress balls up and tenses my insides and tangles my heart - but if I can work it out, move it through and out of my body and burn it off, every other area of my life feels those ripple effects. I am less irritable. I want to punch less people in the face. I feel tired, but in an accomplished kind of way, which kinda feels nice. My body has now released endorphins, which triggers happy hormones and generally leads my brain towards more positive thinking. I feel more energized to move on to the next thing, since after all they do say that “what’s in forward motion stays in motion”, right? The simple act of working out seems to promote a shift in my whole person, a good shift.

He laid on the wet pavement and wrestled with his tire, and as we talked he peppered our conversation with step by step instructions on what to do if I were changing my own flat tire. He said that teaching skills like this was actually kind of therapeutic for him. Funny thing, I actually learn best from watching someone else demonstrate.